2008 Tour de France - Stage 1

This is Super Dave, AKA “Neo”, here writing from my secret underground hideaway. I’ve been banned from participating in the Tour this year. The explanation is logical if you are a French cycling governing body. Try to follow if you can.

It seems my brother’s cousin’s nephew’s uncle’s sister’s brother in law’s great great great grandfather is of Spanish decent and married into a family with the last name of Leipheimer. This of course immediately connects me to the largest doping ring known to man. Therefore, I must be thrown out of the Tour. I have to admit, I certainly am a dope.

In a bold move to increase television viewer numbers, the French sports authority have decided to kick out two podium finishers from last year because they never tested dirty for drugs. In the history of sporting events, who wants to watch the defending champ anyway? I guess it’s just too boring and doesn’t add to the drama and interest.

Speaking of drama and interest, does anyone know when they had the prologue? Sorry I missed it. I did happen to catch stage one. I wasn’t sure if it was a tense sprint finish or a dramatic mountain win. Oh well, congrats to Valverde.

I’m off to find Morpheus. Does anyone remember, do I take the blue pill or the red pill?

Super Dave